Fast food… “fast” on a geological scale.

I’m hungry. Are you hungry? Let’s stop at that Carl’s Jr. off the highway.

Hmm…the line at the drive-thru is five or six cars deep…looks like the lobby inside is pretty clear. Let’s just go inside and order it to go.

Inside the lobby there was one group ahead of us. This group included one dude, two kids (ages 7 and 15) and a she-devil bitch of a mother. Think Mecha-Streisand but way uglier. MS orders some high-maintenance burger with extra mayo, double patties, no bun, extra lettuce. wtf.

Rachel tells me to go prep the car for driving with food (extra napkins, tossing old cups, etc) so I go out to the car, set it up, and wait for her to come out with our food.

About 10 minutes go by and I finally see her coming out. But with no food. ??? “Just letting you know that the people before us still don’t have their food.” Great.

By this time, I’ve already finished my first round of Sprite. I follow Rachel inside to refill and stand around. Another five minutes pass.

Finally, MS and her family receive their food. Within 30 seconds, MS is towering her way up to the counter…clearly not happy with her high-maintenance burger. Wow. I did not see that coming.

The cog behind the counter is having a hard time understanding the problem so she passes the buck to her co-worker, who also doesn’t understand the problem. Eventually, the agree to remake her burger.

Our food is finally ready. It only took 20 minutes. But where’s my chocolate shake? “Your shake is here, but I’ll remake it because it’s been sitting around for awhile.” Thanks.

She seems to have a really hard time making the new shake. At first she can’t figure out how to use the blender and has to ask for help. Then she drops the cup and shake goes everywhere. They grab a towel and clean it up, then leave my new shake sitting on the counter in the back.

Uh…that’s my shake.

The first cog wanders by and I say “I think that shake is all done now.” She looks at it, looks at me and says “Yes, it is.” Then she wanders off.

“Uh..excuse me…Can I have my shake please?”

“Oh, this is yours?”

Christ. She hands me the shake. Then I have to specifically request a spoon.

Carl’s Jr Fast Food = 30 minutes. I’m not sure what the problem was. They had four people working the shop and there weren’t a ton of customers. Just a total lack of delivering food. Really, that’s their entire job: delivering food three feet across the counter. I’ve worked in food service many times. Not really that hard. Oh well, we can’t all be astronauts.